Day 109.

With finals week rushing at me head on -- by which I mean finals begin today -- my anxiety levels are rising and my emotions in general seem to be heightened.  With the mountains of studying I have yet to do and the grades whose complete fate have yet to be determined, my tolerance levels for other individuals has dropped drastically. But enough of that. Back to studying.

**I believe Jessica Day says everything best. 

Listening to: people typing in the library
First final: Art History
Day of the year: 109

Day 101.

We went and saw Young the Giant in concert last night. So great. So crazy. I have very little to say, because that is my tendency lately when it comes to blogging, but please let it be known that I touched Sameer Gadhia's chest. Enough said. 

   

Listening to: the muffled music of my videos from last night.

Rather than being productive: I'm laying in bed still...

Day of the year: 101

Day 70.

As far as my thoughts go in regards to the topic of kissing, I will have to expound at a later time.  But, I stumbled upon this video on buzzfeed tonight and wanted to share.  It evokes a great deal of curiosity in me regarding the topic. I would venture to say that I truly enjoy the overall sentiment of the video though. So do enjoy.

*If your stomach churns at the sight of PDA (particularly passionate kissing) 

and/or homosexuality I would recommend skipping the video.

Listening to: ...nothing.

Should be: sleeping -- instead I'm squandering my thoughts on kissing...

Day of the year: 70

Day 36.

Miss me much?  Its been 3 months to the day. That is definitely a crazy coincidence. I got on here to blog last month, and actually had written the greater part of a post, but then never finished.  So here I am on February 5th, at 12:35 am writing for the first time in three months.
I have few intentions for this post. I want so badly to blog with greatness and do so routinely, but I struggle trying to think of things to write.  I don't want to bore you with what I made for dinner, or who I talked to, and so instead I say nothing. And I do sincerely apologize.

At the risk of sounding cliché, I share the following thoughts with you.
Within each of us exists the innate desire to be wanted. To be loved. We search for someone to complete that block of Maslow's pyramid.  And yet we put our emotional selves in harms way to find a person who can do that for us. We are the ones who allow ourselves to be hurt, we make our hearts vulnerable. We forget about that natural instinct to protect ourselves; we deny all logic.
We are beat. We create opportunities to be bruised and battered. And some of us foolishly do so time and time again.
And yet we continue.  We lose control of our emotions.  We lose our cool.

And despite the chaos and turmoil to be found, despite the billions of individuals that exist on the face of the planet, two people find a place of solace -- those same individuals who wished to be wanted are contented.


Happiness can be achieved without being loved romantically.  I know I am as happy today as I choose to be. It is just a very odd, very illogical, desire to contemplate.  I of all people can readily admit that I fall weak inside often. I throw my heart out for the lions of this emotional world to shred and devour.  At times I wonder if I can recover from the emotional damage I have subjected myself to.  I can.  In those moments of torture, it is hard to see any further than that hour, that moment, that night, but in the long haul, everything is wonderful.  Maybe the statistically improbable will happen and you will find love. And maybe it won't.  But thats ok.  We all want to be wanted.  To be loved.  You want to be wanted. You and 7 billion other people. Remember. You and 7 billion people.




Listening to: Joshua Radin
Glad to be alive: because why not?
Day of the Year: 36

Day 309.

I glanced into the mirror this afternoon and saw my mother. Now, my mother has blonde curly hair and blue eyes, whereas I have brown hair and dark brown eyes, but nonetheless the reflection which I saw was very much that of my mother's, just the darker version. Odd right? Well that is all I really have to say about that. 

Here are a few random things to share, because I have little tidbits of thoughts and such, and none of it would coherently work together.

• Dating...
• I'm going to the Iron & Wine concert tomorrow!!
• Moody girls are painstakingly exasperating.
• Sadly, the past does often define us.
• And I like this cat:
  
  
  
  
  
  Listening to: my cat meow.
  Feeling: my feet fall asleep, slowly going numb.
  Day of the year: 309

day 291 & 1/2.

*random pinterest thoughts at two o'clock in the morning

Listening to: the random noises of night & the heavy breathing of a sleeping roommate 

In need of: a motherly hug and sleep

Day of the year: somewhere between 291 & 292

day 290.

Last night I became a part of a society that most consider odd. Freegans. Don't know who are freegans are? Let me lay this out for you. Businesses close. Employees and owners can no longer sell certain items due to laws and rules dictating how fresh items must be to sell them. The sun sets. And thats where freegans come in. Yes, you are correct; a freegan is a dumpster diver.
I'm well aware of how disgusting the nature of this sport must sound. But we were picky. We took only that which was well packaged and [what seemed] fresh. We scored big time last night at a bakery. Let me just say that I think I will likely only ever participate in freeganism at bakeries. Here is why:
1) They have hardly any trash aside from the rejected bread loaves and pastries; 2) They have to throw baked goods away on a daily basis; & 3) Baked goods are freegan [wink wink] delicious. Don't worry. I definitely had some delicious toast this morning made from bread obtained from my incredibly humorous (to me and my friends) efforts last night around midnight.
Anway, so freeganism. Its a thing. A real thing. And if you don't believe me, do look it up. If you decide to give it a try here are a few things I suggest:

• Base your decision of whether it may be a good find or not on the smell (for example bakeries' smell of delicious donuts and other things of the like)
• Go with friends -- it makes the adventure much more fun.
• Consider your attire with caution. Boots are a wise choice.
• Do not, under any circumstance, take anything that is not carefully packaged (ie NO free floating french fries. No free floating anything!!!)

So there you have it, my suggestions. I don't suggest you lead a freegan life if you live in a generally unsanitary part of the country, or world for that matter. Main point is, be smart. Being stupid could make you sick. Or kill ya. Who knows. So maybe the best suggestion would be to not become a freegan. Yup, I guess thats the moral of the story.

You might enjoy this as well:

*Considering the fact that my friends and I went together and we did not make nasty sludge from our findings, I think I won't have to go find friends in the dumpsters. Not for those reasons anyway.

Well if I get deathly ill from that delicious piece of toast, I will definitely let you know. Unless of course I die. Then I won't let you know. So I guess in this case, no news is BAD news.

Have a wonderful day!!!!

"The hunger for love is much more difficult
to remove than the hunger for bread." [Mother Teresa]

Listening to: What If You [by Joshua Radin]

I should be: studying statistics

Day of the year: 290

day 286

Quite frankly I thought I was done blogging when I wrote my last post. And it was indeed intended to be my very last post. And then Thursday I realized I missed having a blog. I missed rambling into the great unknown of the internet. And so here I am, returning to the blog that has seen the good and the bad over the last 3, almost 4, years. I gave the name a subtle change and changed the header, so this old blog of mine is ready for my next attempt at a quality blog.

Well for now that is all I leave you with, but have a wonderful fall day!

"Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, 

negativity, pain...To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes 

and choices - today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it."

Kevyn Aucoin

Listening to: Jezebel [by Iron & Wine]

In the mood for: A burger from that one corner restaurant in Barcelona

Day of the year: 286